Craziness

Here is a recap of the things that have been going on in my life the past few months. 

1. Rob and I went camping. It was a little weird and not a happy time for us. Our relationship was kinda on the rocks, and the weather was against us this year. 
2. We came back from camping and he surprised me with a house. Our very first house! :)
3. We then went on a trip to FL.
4. We moved into our house.
5. For once in my life, things are really good. 
6. Then my cat died. That was the hardest thing to watch. Yeah I was sitting next to him and held his paw while he took is last breath. It still is so hard to deal with. I still see him randomly and when I close my eyes. 

Like I said a lot of things have been happening. Good and bad, but all things happen for a reason. :)

Titanium

I am loving that song right now!

Ok so time to blog, you ready!?!

My oh my have things been crazy these past few months! I mean things have been amazing but I haven't had time to just sit and think about things. So yes I have a ton of things running around in my mind! It's very overwhelming and I don't really have anyone to talk to about anything other then Rob and Family.

So things can get a little crazy up in there and let me tell you with the things going on it is a mess and the ball hasn't even started to roll yet.

We went on our yearly camping trip, bought a house, getting ready to go to Florida, and I'm getting ready to start my second job in a few days. And there is a lot that needs to be done to the house before we can move in by Nov. Man that doesn't look or sound like a lot but it really is!

We just started painting yesterday, got all the ceilings done and one coat on the living room. Tonight we finish the living room and start the hallway and move on the the office and bedroom. We are leaving the bathroom the way it is since it have tile halfway up the wall. The kitchen will be last since the is a wallpaper trim around the top that needs to come down before painting begins in there. The bay window in the living room is going to need to be replaced, and soon!

I'm trying not to go all out and do everything how I want it. Since this house is just a stepping stone to our TRUE first home. We are buying it a fixing it up to turn around and sell it in about a year or less. To give us more money for our REAL first house.

In a way we are kinda doing his mother a favor and taking it off her hands even though she is there helping us out with a lot of it and trying to take control of somethings as well. Keep in mind I didn't even want to pick out paint colors. As soon as I found out he only wanted to be there for 6 months I was done thinking about anything to make it our own. I am still going back and forth about even moving in.

But I need to do it, I need to be out on my own and figure me out. Figure Rob and I out, and it's the only way I can do that. I know I will be alright and I for sure know that Rob and I will be alright. We well be more then alright.

This step on our yellow brick road will either make us or break us. Don't worry I'll let you what way it goes..

Wish Us Luck <3 p="p">

My Review of Gumback Express

Originally submitted at LUSH USA

Bananas makes your skin really, really soft, so we squashed a bundle up and mixed them with ground almonds. Ground almonds are nutritious and exfoliating, which also leave the skin very soft. Honey and almond oil are also very softening and moisturizing. So you can imagine how you'll feel after...

Gumback Express

Holy Banana

By Ana from Chicago, IL on 7/12/2012

 

5out of 5

When you survey your stash, you label this product: Must-Have

Pros: Pleasant Smell, Easy To Use, Long Lasting, Moisturizing

Cons: Poor Lather

Best Uses: Showers

Describe Yourself: Budget Buyer

I love this product. The lather isn't the best but I don't care. It smells amazing and it last for quite a while after the shower. My boyfriends can always tell when I use it, He is always like "O lord the banana queen just arrived." Most of my lush stuff had banana in it.. But all jokes and pokes aside. If you find your skin a little dry this product is for you!

(legalese)

So Blessed

So I have been trying to think of something to blog about since my last blog. I have been having such a hard time, like nothing has peeked my interest. But I found something finally!!



Madyson Faith

June 1, 2011 7:45am

7lbs. 2.5 oz

20 inches long

It was a big surprise when we all found out the my aunt was pregnant! Her youngest was 15!! They never used protection so it was extremely crazy to us all!! But it was a blessing to us all at the same time! Madyson is the cutest thing EVER! She rarely cried, always slept through the night, never got sick. She was and still is the perfect little girl! 





She really was the cutest baby!! Everyone would always say how adorable she was and how sweet. There was always a smile on her face. Now she makes these weird little faces.. She is for sure getting her own little personality. Well a big one!! She is a little diva!



Do you see what I mean! She just turned one and is walking around like a mad women! When she walks she has to have her month wide open and her hands in the air. It’s the cutest and so funny to watch. 

The best thing is… My uncle Todd is wrapped around her little fingers.. It’s nice to see his softer side come out. 



She is the light in all of our lives. Seeing her instantly puts a huge smile on my face!! I don’t what I would do with out her.. Things for my family would for sure be rough. 



I love my little Madyson Faith!! <3

I want Cupcakes.

So it’s been a little while since my last blog. Not much has changed since then. Family is still crazy, Rob and I are still annoying each other. But there has been a lot of things on my mind that I haven’t really let out to anyone. So while I was trying to think about what to blog about today all that stuff came flooding in my mind. So what better way to let it out then in a blog for the world to read. Who knows some people in my life may read it and get a clue.. 

So here goes nothing….

So Rob and I started looking at houses again. When he told to start looking again he was all excited about it which made me get all excited about it as well. Like finally we can get the ball rolling and start our lives together. But like every other story that involves Rob there is a catch. The catch for this was him pretty much saying “Oh Just Kidding”. Yeah I got all excited about things and was finding great houses and looked at 5 I really liked. Then last Sunday, the 29th,  he took off work so we could go and look at open houses and make appointments to see a few I like. So Saturday while he was off work I asked him to look at the houses I had saved on the website and tell me which ones he liked or wanted to look at. And what does Rob do. He spends all day doing nothing. O my bad he skates and makes a rail with his friend Chris. Then goes out to dinner for Chris’s grandparents anniversary. Mind you he hasn’t been to any birthdays or anniversaries for my family. He couldn’t even make it to my birthday!! So needless to say no houses were looked at, and he then told me that he isn’t ready to move nor does he want to move out. Not till I go back to school and get a better paying job to hold down the house with in case he can’t work. Ok I’m done with this subject, because it really drives me nuts Anything about this LITTLE boy drives me nuts anymore. 

On to the subject of SCHOOL. I really and truly miss going to school and having that interaction with people that aren’t yelling at me for an out of date coupon. I don’t have the money to go back to school. And I refuse to take out any kind of student loan to go back. I haven’t been in school since 08, I stopped going because I couldn’t handle going to school and working all the hours they were giving me. Now one thing you must know about Bergner’s is that they don’t care about school or family, well they don’t care if you want a life outside of work. All they care about is themselves. Which is fine but frankly I don’t care about anymore. They wouldn’t work around my school, they would put on to work while I was in class, and I worked every night. Which left very little time to do any sort of homework. I was never good at the whole school thing. It’s really hard for me to focus and stay on track. A big thing is that I get bored so easily that the class would drive me nuts.. So that’s why I made the choice to stop and focus on work and make/save money. And let me tell you I have not lived down that choice one second. 

But the thing with school is I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I have always loved doing hair and makeup, and baking. But cosmetology has the most stuck up people working it. That is one thing I can’t stand, I hate it when people think they are the best at everything. I’m not the skinniest person out there but I’m also not the fastest. But in the world you almost have to be a twig. And that makes me a sad girl to know that I will be judge on my weight like that. Baking will be a lot easier to be excepted in, and it’s something I know I’m good at. That is why I am so ready to be out of my parents house. So I can cook and bake what I want to. No one can tell me no, well besides Rob if we live together. I really can’t not make a choice as what I want to do. Like I wish someone could just tell me what I’m good at in life so I can get started at doing it..  I really hate this not know thing that life brings along. It really bothers me.

I leave the 19th of May for Georgia and let me tell you it can’t come fast enough!! We aren’t coming back till the 29th and I’m so stoked. I love it down there and have been thinking a lot about just up a leave here and go and live down there. Life just seems to be so much easier down there and chill. That’s what I need a chill life. I am planning a trip to Savannah in October. And I couldn’t be more excited. Now if I could Rob to come along on my trip since I did take the time off because he wanted me to so we could take a long weekend off. 

Well I am done for now. Family is over and I can’t think..!

Oh Boy..

So things are so much better since my last post. Way better!! 

I have been on a weight loss program. Things have been going GREAT!! I have lost 8 pounds which is a lot considering how crazy my life has been. But its a great feeling knowing that all my hard work and sweat is paying off. I love the feeling I get when I go and try on clothes and they fit.

Besides the weight loss stuff everything is going great as well. I have been at Robs house for little over a week now. And believe it or not, we haven't fought once! Normal we fight all the time. Just little petty fights like what show to watch what to have for dinner. But nothing like that at all. It's been great! We are looking at houses AGAIN. But this time we can afford the houses we were looking at before. And again it's a great feeling knowing that. 


I also have been cooking a lot!! I have always loved cooking and used to do it all the time. I would always cook Sunday dinner for my family. Then I started working, and well that stopped. But Since I have been at Robs house I have been cooking and baking up a storm!! I made Chili from scratch (not like it's hard tho). Homemade ravioli with meat sauce. Cinnamon Rolls. And today I made this:

Haven't had any yet. Waiting for Rob to get home from class to have some with him. But does it not look good. (Note: it's not cooked in the picture)

It has been usually warm outside. I don't mind it at all, it just worries me a bit. But I love going out and just sitting there soaking the sun up. In May we are leaving for Georgia for a Family Reunion. It will be nice to get away and forget all our worries. I'm for sure looking forward to August!! Our camping trip that we do every year for our anny. It's always a great time, there is never a dull moment. 

Well until next time. TTYL

Life at it's worst.

You know that feeling one gets when things are just to much to handle. That feeling like you just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I have that feel often, I wish I didn’t but I do. It’s almost like your body has taken to much and it goes numb. Or when you get to crying and your crying so hard that you can’t breath. I get like that as well, mixed with a panic attack.

For as long as I can remember I have always kept things bottled up in side. I’m not the type of person to sit down with someone and talk about what’s going on in my head or my heart. I have always been better at writing it down and sending it out. I’m not big on conflict, I never have been.  I much rather think about it and write how I feel. Although I haven’t been doing much writing lately, and I need to start doing it everyday again.

I’m the type of person to say I’m ok when really I’m not. Not in the slightest bit. I think this stuff started  when my mom and real dad divorced and my step dad came in the picture so fast. It was all so crazy and happened so fast. I didn’t really have time to process anything.  So I sit here with a guy that doesn’t really know me and expect him to take care of me. Things in the house are fine. But I think it would be better for me to get out and get away.

Although things aren’t what I want them to be I should be thankful. I have people who I hope love me and believe in me. And I guy who says he would love to marry me. I just need to get in a good state of mind and stay there.

I wrote this in High School.

The meaning of love is thrown around like an old rag doll. but when I say it.. I mean it.. with every breath I take.. I don't say it to impress you.. nor to win you over. I just want you to know that when I say I love you, I truly mean it.. when I look upon your face and look into your eye's I can find it in you.. that everything you are.. is what I want.. and without you I am nothing inside nor to this world.. its not worth taking another breath nor living a single moment without you near or by my side.. at times I try to open my eye's in search of another.. but then I realize there is no other man that can treat me like u do.. and there is no man to make me change the way I feel about you.. I just want to show you I love you and want to be with you.. and now I realize and understand why.. and that's because my feelings for you are true and pure.. and all I want to do is to be with you.. to spend every minute with you and my whole life with you.. to have your children.. and yes I've already thought this through.. I love you for you.. what can I really say to make you realize that you are the only on for me... I shouldn't have too.. you should already know this.. and I know you feel the same way.. but baby I know we are young... I know your happy and in love with me... but babe I want to be your wife.. even if it was only for one day.. I would be so happy just for that one day.. I appreciate you for you.. and all the things you done for me.. without you I'm incomplete.. at the same time I'm afraid of what you might think... I'm not ashamed for the way I'm expressing to you I just need your to know even if I've said this a thousand times.. I want to take all your pain and problems away.. I love the way you smile and the way you look.. even when your at your worse.. when your sick, hurt, or anything I'll be right by your side... saying hey everything will be alright.. I'm here to hold you tight and tell you I love you.. I want to spend those long hard or nice nights by your side.. I wanna love you like no other girl can... I wanna be your super girl.. your Mrs.sweetheart.. I know you understand..I wanna take you places you've never seen before... I wanna be the one who you only dream of and wake up with in the mornings.. I wanna spend time with you staring at that morning sky.. or the late night star's.. I pray every night for your forgiveness, love, affection, and protection.. I love you so much that there are no words to describe to you how I really feel.. but I'll be that girl you can run to with your problems... I'll be that girl to stick up for all your decisions.. and be the one taking a bullet to the chest to save you.. I would travel a million miles to come get you.. I would look for you night and day if you were lost or gone missing.. I would stop doing whatever I'm doing just to look at you.. smile.. just to say I love u.. I would give you everything.. I will love you and have you in my heart till I die... even if I grow old alone... without you.. I'll be happy doing that just to prove to you I truly do love you.. there's no words that can explain how I feel.. I want to hold your hand look you straight in that eyes and say boo I love you with all my heart.. I want to be the one you grow old with.. the one you marry.. the one you have kids with.. I wanna be your prom date.. all I'm trying to prove or say is anything and everything I would do for you.. and that's because... I love you with all of my HEART... and always will FOREVER...

Top 10 facts.

I was tweeted to do Top 10 facts on here. So here it goes.

This should be interesting. 

1.  I have a very bad obsession with clothes, purses, and shoes. I mean it is horrible!! I have a walk-in clothes that my dad built for me and all my crap, and I still don’t have enough room for it all! I work in retail so I can get stuff for like dirt cheap so it’s not bad. Like you could pay 24 bucks if not more for a pair of jeans, I however never pay more then 10 bucks! That’s pretty nice!!!!

2. Make-up and Hair… OMG I thought my clothing items were a bad obsession I was wrong. I never go and get my hair done or my nails. I do it all myself! I am constantly told I need to go to cosmetology school because everything always turns out great. And for as many times that I have dyed my hair its perfect! I rarely have split ends and when I do get them its time for a cut anyway. I pride myself in my hair and my make-up. Oh yes, and don’t forget about the nails. I love doing nails as well.

3. I have a lot of pet peeves but my biggest one is the toilet seat, and burps!!!! If you burp at home its fine, but when we are out in public and you do it expect a kick or a smack!! I even smack my mom if she does it! And what is up with every guy leaving the seat up!! For real you lifted it up to go what is so hard about putting the damn thing back down!!!!!! GOSH!

4. I can not live with out TUMBLR, and my TWITTER! If one of them isn’t working I go crazy. I have even called the “help” number on both because they weren’t working. It’s bad I know, but those are they only I talk to certain people and the only I can get in touch with them.

5. Food obsessions: I am addicted to Green Olives! It’s pretty bad, I crave them all the time!! I must always have SWEET TEA! We are from GA so sweet tea is in our blood. My grams makes it, it is always in stock in the fridge! I have really bad cravings its like I’m pregnant 24/7, I am always wanting something!!

6. 30 Seconds To Mars <3 I have seen them live 4 times. Meet Shannon at one, Jared at another one! They are truly one amazing band, and even better people! I am so proud to call them family along with the rest of the ECHELON. I am not going to talk about the ECHELON that will take to long!! ;)

7. I am a huge movie junky! I have well over 100 movies and more get added daily! I not into comedy, I just don’t find most of them really that funny. I love horror and suspense, the movies that keep you on your toes. But since I am a girl, girly movies are alright.
Top 5 Movies
1. Titanic
2. Dawn of the Dead
3. P.S. I Love You
4. All Fast and Furious movies
5. Little Mermaid

8. Music!! I listen to everything, literally everything. Right now anything that makes me want to move is good! Debstep is really working it right now. I have just found a new love though….. Skrillex have been listening to his stuff for like a month straight! It’s just so AWESOME.

9. I am in LoVe. Rob and I have been dating since 06. We have had our rough times, but what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger right. We have known each other since 05 and dated before and broke up. It gave us time to grow up and realize that what we want is each other. We are in it for the long run. There are some people out there that don’t like the idea of that, but they will just have to move on. If they can do that!

10. Finally!! I may be a girl and like girly things. But I am no where near a girly girl! I love to fish, go hiking, I play sports, and mudding at my aunt and uncles farm is what I do best! They have a ton of land so we can go there anytime and get the four wheelers out or the snow mobiles. I have a key to the mad house (garage) where all the toys are. They have a private pound that they stock up every year. I love going out there and just chill. I do a ton of writing and singing out there. It’s amazing!

Well that is 10. Peace Out

Till we meet again.

Goodness! It has been forever, I totally forgot about this! Well lets have a recap of the life since the last post shall we…..

Well it’s now 2012!!! Woot Woot. Yeah not! 2011 was good to me, but it was also a rough year. So many things happened! My aunt had a baby!! Now remember her youngest is a Freshman in High School. But Madyson is the cutest baby out there!! I love that kid to death! <3 She is a mini me for sure! And the scariest thing is, our baby pictures look alike. Anyways, moving on. Work is still work! I love it but I hate at the same time. But since I worked my ass off in the spring and the summer months I have had all of December and January off . Due to me being to close to hours that I am allowed for the year. Lame I know but it has given me plenty of time to do things I have been meaning to do. Like clean my disaster of a room. It was sooooo bad it’s not even funny.

My relationships were not well in 2011. My father and I are still not really talking. I hasn’t said happy birthday to me in years. But that is how are relationship just is I guess. My mom and I are still on track. Thanks to 30STM tho, that’s pretty much the only thing we have in common. Rob and I however, had a MAJOR rough patch. Things were fine till July. His parents were gone so I stayed over there. One night he invited his friends over for a party and a few of them including him got wasted. They all left and he thought it would be a good time to throw up ALL over the kitchen and the bathroom. Me being the nice person I am I cleaned it all up. Gave him meds and bread. Towels for pillows, I didn’t sleep at all that night and had to wake up early to go to work. As did he.

Next thing I know its time to go home. So I leave work to go back to his house only to have him say leave. We didn’t talk for two days! Then he calls me up and says he wants a break. Which turns into break up. I was DONE!! I had been there for everything for him. The arrest, grams death, friends being un true, EVERYTHING! And he does that to me. Two week after that was our 5 year anny. I was heart broken, I shut down. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, went to work and did my job and left everyday. He later said sorry and I say no. No your not, to this day he still can’t tell me why he did it, what he was thinking. We ended up going camping and working things out.

Sadly things are still rough. Because I am no longer in school. I don’t have the money and my parents make to much for me to get aid. He says he will pay for it no problem. Well I see a huge problem, I call it July. He will break up with me again and say I owe him for schooling. I don’t want help, I’m not the type! If I can’t do it on my own then I don’t need it. I don’t like things handed to me! That doesn’t help your person.

Well other then that things in 2011 were perfect! I saw my favorite band (30 Seconds To Mars) 2 times. Went to a few weddings and drank way to much. Had a major part of my life born. There may have been a few bumps in the road. But nothing I can’t over come and forget in 2012.

With all respects 2012 you better kick ass!!!!

It's My Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old enough to know better. Young enough to NOT care. 

I am looking forward to nothing! You may ask why...

Well I truly dislike my bday. Weird I know but nothing ever goes as planed. 

This year I shall be home alone while everyone is out  at work/school. 

Thus the Birthday blues. 

I shall write more later... I must sleep now. ;}